Supermarket Sweep

Even the seemingly peaceful Albert Einstein once said “I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.” I had to keep this is mind last weekend when doing my weekly shop, an activity which strikes fear to the heart with the sad realisation that the fridge is in fact empty. That is the exact moment i know that it will be a bad day...

...issues with Supermarkets:

• Why do you always realise you need to go on a Saturday?! The busiest day of the week and the one day when you really do have something better to do.
  
• Why do you only ever see people you don't wish to talk to?! This is probably the most traumatic experience in nearly all life. You see the person down the aisle and desperately search for a way to avoid contact, contemplating joining the frozen peas if only you don't have to speak to that high school teacher that you always hated. You know they feel the same and you also know how you feel about them. Yet this only seems to encourage them as they plaster that crooked smile, knowingly torturing you with every question, probing into your current life, a place they don't deserve to be.
• Why is EVERYONE in the way?! This is something i always forget until i arrive at the unholy place itself. Upon entry i look around and i am totally dumbstruck by the amount of stressful middle aged women with 1-4 children in tow (equally annoying), a record only ever equaled by my old high school parents evening. This may seem harmless enough, until you realise that every one of these people has a genetic code built inside which means THEY will be the ones to get to that last chicken fillet, not you. Ironic that these adults try to raise their children with manners and as upstanding members of society, but in Supermarkets these go out the window...like in prison...i think.

Am i the only person who sees parents in Tesco like New York taxi drivers!? I can imagine Mrs. Smith psyching herself up before the journey, looking in the hallway mirror....

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? OK."

...then climbing into her Volvo V70 telling little James to stop chewing gum....

TO