Thoughts Of Age

So here is the next installment. I'm traveling on a train to London and boredom has meant i will finally use my phones Microsoft capabilities (surely leading to some finger cramp/future ailment!). To be honest this is mainly a test of how much i can be bothered to write purely on my phone, however some good may come of the thoughts that are floating in my head at the moment (although i think i value my own thoughts more than anyone else ever will).

I've already discussed my views on the purpose of life and religion. Next i think will be growing old, especially with my 19th birthday in the next couple of days. I never really was that bothered about birthdays, yes its nice to know people care and its an excuse to celebrate but to be honest i feel a falseness and unease at the attention of celebrating my own birthday. Pretending you really want those socks has become an Oscar worthy performance for me. Not wanting to cash old relatives (the ones left) cheques partly because of guilt and partly because you don't see it a worthy trip to the bank for £2.50. I don't mean to sound ungrateful but inflation is a terrible thing. In actually reality i feel like this for most commercial celebrations (Christmas, fathers & mothers days). Maybe im just a grumpy old man before my time, maybe i'm just a cynic realist who sees little value in traditional anythings. I'm a minimalist, laminate, chrome and glass kind of guy i'm afraid.

It seems that all children are in a hurry to grow up, i know i was. I used to watch my brother doing coursework wishing as hard as i could i would be given the chance to do something that official at some point. Yet when given the chance i want nothing more than to avoid it! Wishing you life away is a common trait among youth, and as is wishing your life back when you reach a certain age. The consensus of people i have spoke to say that high school were the best days of life. As i went to a high school made up of 90% cretins (correct at the time - some have matured) then i don't quite agree but i can see the points. Lack of commitments and no real life changing decisions but with an increased level of freedom, sounds like heaven right now.

i do often feel like i'm old before my time. I do find i get along best with similar souls (Gareth) while we talk the day away saying how things have changed. Getting old is an inevitability, this is why i struggle to see why there is such an importance placed on birthdays. Its such a cliche but its one day a year, just like the rest, if it were that we celebrated one birthday a life, say 18, then i wouldn't be so begrudging but every year....... No not for me. My main complaint is the same as a lot of other areas of my beliefs. I always say when i don't believe in something "not for me", now i could spend my time converting people to my cynical but realist way of thinking (which i have done) but i don't. I accept others views, but it grates me when others don't accept mine. Like i'm abnormal for this view, and that because its their birthday i somehow owe them something...? You have to do this/that because its my birthday, in reality this will make me do the opposite.

Getting old is the only guaranteed thing in life besides taxes, we should in fact build structure of this stability not be scared of it. Age is after all just a number.......