Monday 24 August 2009

The Rules of The Game

In my current work, I spend vast amounts of time on my own in forced silence. Therefore I tend to over think A LOT. Today I spent a long time thinking about my current relationship, how it affects me and how I affect it, both positively and negatively.

As if by fate, a chapter of the book I have been reading ('The Game' by Neil Strauss) was very appropriate on this very lunchtime. Its only a short chapter, but its extremely enlightening, so I'd like to share. (I've bolded the key bits for me personally for those that don't wish to read the entire passage.)

Male sexuality may seem on the surface like it runs rampant in society - there are strip clubs, porn websites, 'Maxim'-style magazines, and titillating advertisements everywhere. But, despite all this, true male desire is often kept repressed.
Men think about sex more than they will ever let women, or even each other, know. Teachers think about f*cking their students, fathers think about f*cking their daughters friends, doctors think about f*cking their patients. And right now, for every woman with even an iota of sex appeal, there's probably a man somewhere in the world who's touching himself and thinking about what it would be like to f*ck her. She may not even know him: He may be that businessman who walked past her in the street or the college student who sat across from her on the subway. And any man who tells a woman otherwise is most likely doing so because hes trying to get in her pants, or the pants of someone else within earshot. The great lie of modern dating is that in order to sleep with a woman, a man must pretend initially as if he doesn't want to.
Most appalling to women is the male obsession with strippers, porn stars, and teenage girls. It is abhorrent because it threatens a woman's reality. If all men really desire a woman like that, then where does that leave her marriage and happily-ever-after fantasies? She's doomed to live them with a man who really wants that Victoria Secret model or the neighbors daughter or that dominatrix in the videos he hides in his closet. As a woman ages, an 18 year old will always be 18. Love is dashed on the rocks in the face of possibility that a man doesn't want a person but a body.
Fortunately, this is not the entire story. Men are visual thinkers; thus we're often deceived by our eyes. But the truth is that the fantasy is often better than the reality. I had just learned that lesson. Most men eventually learn that lesson...
Men are not dogs. We merely think we are and, on occasion, act as if we are. But, by believing in our nobler nature, woman have amazing power to inspire us to live up to it. This is one reason why men tend to fear commitment-and sometimes...even tend to rebel against it by endeavoring to bring out the worst in woman.


This really is an excellent read with a lot of depth. Highly Recommended.

:)

TO

Sunday 23 August 2009

Nothing is Predestined

Today, In football training, I attempted a very audacious shot and failed miserably. But I felt no shame. As I turned to meet the mocking cheers, I said to my friend Atem (http://theatembomb.blogspot.com) "If you don't attempt greatness, you won't achieve greatness".

At the time it was just a decorated way of saying "it was worth a go". However, when I got home and started to day dream the words seemed to resonate (so much so i'm thinking of getting it in welsh as my 21st tattoo).

As with a lot of people I know, I talk a very good game.

This is necessary but not sufficient. You have to deliver. The words resonate that anyone can talk about greatness but it's all about the 'attempt'. For many years i've said it's not my time, i'm waiting for the next stage of my life...well it's coming.

I've always viewed from the end of university to my 30th birthday to be when I have to make things happen, and i will. To ensure this happens I decided to sit down today and publish my short, medium and long term goals. After all there's no motivation like potential public humiliation.

Short (<1year)
  • Score 3 goals and win 3 M.O.M's for D&C AFC this year.
  • Earn a 2:1 Economics degree.
  • Have my second published article.
  • Earn a place on a graduate scheme.

Medium (1year-5years)
  • Watch the Atlanta Falcons play in person.
  • Watch LeBron James play in person.
  • Watch Usain Bolt sprint in person.
  • Have an article published in a National Newspaper or article.
  • Buy my first property.

Long (5years+)
  • Earn my first $1,000,000 paycheck.
  • Write a novel.
  • Appear in a film.
  • Own a majority share in mutli-million dollar company

Many of you may think these are unreachable, but I would say to you "don't hate, dont underestimate".

:$

TO

Tuesday 18 August 2009

Self Actualization


At the pub the other night, my friends and I were discussing first impressions. We came onto the topic of the fact that in every job I have ever had people have told me that when I first joined they thought I was a kn*b, but after a while they decided I was a really good guy. This has been repeated me hundreds of times, and my friends were in agreement.

After thinking about it for a while we came to the conclusion that the way I react to unfamiliar situations, such as a new workplace, I act ultra confident and the opposite of how many believe I would/should act. They believe me to be very arrogant (which is true anyway!) for doing so and therefore dislike my confidence and easy with which I deal with usually unforgiving circumstances.

However, once these people get to know me, they learn that while I am confident and outgoing, I am genuine and at the end of the day a nice guy.

People don't like to be challenged and don't like someone to look comfortable so easily. However, that is me and I won't change for anyone. If anything I'll challenge these people more because they need it. I won't do anything unless i'm trying my best, and I won't stop until I reach my best.

:)

TO

Thursday 13 August 2009

Honesty and Integrity

There is nothing better than having a gut instinct and finding out you were right.

It can be about anything but it seems to be even better when its about people. Probably because we (most humans :S) spend so much time interacting with others.

Those moments when something clicks and you realise how good a friend someone actually is is remarkable, similarly when you realise someone you've always thought was shady finally shows their true colours.

It's strange, I have a friend who I have for a long time regarded as a very close friend. However, like many people in this world, they are very different in groups as to when we are one-on-one. Again, like most of these kind of people, they are a lot nicer and friendly towards me when we are doing something without a large group as he finds the need to project their humour (which is mostly the 'insult someone' kind) toward me. I found I picked up this trait, much to the annoyance of other groups and even some of my best friends. Don't worry, I have slowly been extracting it from my demeanor.

It's even stranger that when I question their level of friendship I find myself conflicted. Half the time I think of them as a best friend, the other half its like they wouldn't care if they never saw me again and slightly two faced.

Who knows? Because I don't. They often mock me for my humility and emotionality...is this because they wish they could be so too or because they like to take the piss? They are often supportive and negative in equal parts so to ensure I remain confused about what they actually think.

Simply put, I can't work out whether i'm over-thinking (the sociology student in me says this isn't possible) the whole situation or whether they are the deepest person I know in terms of the fact they are repressing a lot through jokes and emotional retardation.

:/

TO

Wednesday 12 August 2009

The Even Better Life and Times of TO

Maaaaaaan just keeps getting better.

This morning I was quick to respond to an offer from the nice people at NBA on 5 and bagged myself a pair of tickets for 'Game on at O2', the basketball matches featuring Great Britain v Turkey and Israel v Poland.

Looks like I should be heading to London this Saturday, relying on circumstances of course!

For real, my life is IN THE ZONE right now.

Stand with me.

:D

TO

The Life and Times of TO

This post has no particular direction or message other than to update you all on the fact i'm rather happy.

I'm currently riding one of those waves where everything is going right. I'm working hard and being rewarded and it feels exceptional.

  • I have finally found a paying job, unlike freelancing writing it seems. So i'm paying bills.
  • I have found the woman of my dreams and couldn't be happier right now.
  • I have a lot of things to look forward too; New football season, New American football season, Michael McIntyre gig, Lil' Wayne gig, NFL game in London, MY 21st BIRTHDAY, the tattoo i'm getting. The list is endless.
  • I have been chosen to write for my universities blog about careers and my path trying to find one in final year, which not only helps my writing career but also makes me get off my **** and go do it.
  • I'm seeing who are good friends and getting quite tight with people who if you'd have asked me 4 years ago I probably would have said "yeah right" (check his blog - http://theatembomb.blogspot.com/)
  • I have entered a competition to be a part of The Scripts new video for 'Breakeven' - please comment and vote generously - http://www.youtube.com/user/towen88
I just feel like i'm growing up and finally using some of my limitless potential to make waves in this world and be somebody. Its not my time yet, but my time is coming, soon I'll give you all a reward for believing in me.



:D

TO

Sunday 9 August 2009

Film Review: The Ugly Truth

I was quiet tired when I went to see this movie so I was pleasantly surprised that it had enough about it to entertain.

Its a simple premise, and as with all of such, relies heavily on the lead roles to make it interesting.

Heigl and Butler neither set the world on fire nor disappoint, this is the running theme with this film.

Of the two Butler seems more natural in his role as a cold-hearted truth bringer, while Heigl is disappointingly wooden but still has enough about her to muddle through.

The plot is largely readable; most will see the ending a mile off. But again its done with enough effort to make it enjoyable, without the extra squeeze to make it excellent.

The highlight has to be a scene where Heigl is tortured sexually by a child (carefully worded sentence alert!)

This film to me needed more time and attention to be truly excellent but was rewardingly funny at times. I'd rate this film as 7.2/10

:)

TO

Saturday 8 August 2009

Mates Rates

So tonight was the big night, the evening when friendship was reevaluated. Ironically, it made me appreciate my own relationship more as well as reminding how important my close mates are too.

I think most of the guys realised that we are drifting apart and that more will be done to keep us connected in some way.

At the same time I realised how good my relationship is based on the grievances of others and how having a girlfriend who is just like a best friend can really be the difference between it working and it not.

I honestly don't think i've been this happy in all my life, and while my brain has been taught this means i'm heading for a fall I don't think I actually care. You have to take the good times while they roll; and i'm rolling.

Tonight was a funny experience with our dinner starting at 7 and then doing 50 shots in Baa Bar by 9.15pm, meaning we were all gone (in the drunk sense of the word) by 10pm.

Hence the only video in which PJ makes a bet he can't keep to:



:)

TO

Tuesday 4 August 2009

All My Life...

ITS FINALLY HERE.

I can't wait to see this film:

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell in HD


No doubt it won't live up to the expectations I have after reading the book but at least it will reach a wider audience and people will understand what it means to be ruthless and I can say, I WAS A MEMBER FIRST B*TCHESSSSSSSS.

Comistan

:)

TO

Monday 3 August 2009

The Boys Are Back In Town


Anyone who has been reading from the start will be aware that there hasn't been an 'Adams Corner' or a video in a LONG time.

We'll i set about to rectify this. Some of those memories are my best ever and will last a lifetime. This Friday, the boys are coming back. Even if its for one night only. I promise to get them all jacked up and get some quality footage (if i'm capable of holding my camera).

The rules include NO PHONES. Let's see who wants to make the friendship work and who doesn't care!

:)

TO

Sunday 2 August 2009

Funny Things...

I haven't posted much due to being so busy currently, thus being the inspiration for this particular occasion.

I helped a friend of mine the other day who is training to be a Personal Trainer. I was basically a guinea pig for him to practice his client technique with. During the session I was asked several health questions; one of which was do you lead a busy life?

The answer being no. But recently yes.

Its amazing how contradictory ones life can be. This occasion being no different.

It's amazing how quickly life can change and equally how speedily we adapt to these changes. I have gone from having nothing to fill my days to having to plan every minute perfectly to fit everything in.

It only goes to show how when everything seems to be quiet one should always anticipate changes on the horizon and try to not let things get you down or pass you by. And by the same token, one should make the most of those frivolous times while they are bountiful.

:)

TO