ARAF!

Don't you wish that sometimes you could stop or slow down time and your life...?

I feel like this right now. I have spent the last 6 months of my life creating a brand new life for myself in the image of who I wanted to be. I have loved every second of this and have memories from this period that will last a lifetime.

Put simply, 2009 has been the best year of my life.

Not only have I been living the life of who I believe I truly am for the first time in a long time but recently I have been hit by metaphorical train being driven by a special person. This may seem strange because the very occurrence of the uncontrollable emotion of the latter contradicts the conscious effort of the former.

Then again I do lead a very contradictory life.

Im a very impatient person, yet I wish for nothing more than to stop time right now. I want to enjoy every second of the happiness I have been feeling for the last 6 months but also because that proverbial 'driver' will become quite unavailable soon.

This is crazy. Me, getting bent out of shape over someone. Me, having nothing to complain about. Me, wanting life to slow down.

I'm usually easy going. I'm usually moaning about someone. I'm usually living my life at 100mph. I guess this is why I feel so affected by this person. I think they just understand what makes me tick. They get me. They are the same. I think. But I usually don't go on thoughts, i like facts, so again contradictory to my personality.

I am struggling to even think of how to summarise, or even why i'm writing this. I guess I will just say. Be happy, you never know what or who is around the next corner and to enjoy every second of this life, ups and downs included.

:D

TO

I Hope There Is Room In Hell...

Isn't it funny how one thing, be it a book or a film etc, can change your view on life so rapidly. For many years I have always tried to be the nice guy when it came to women. I was always the one to answer my phone to a distress signal, to be considerate and kind.

I 'blame' this on my mother. Or you could say my father. Either way, while I was growing up my mother would do everything for me and my brother while working everyday, with no help for many years. I didn't realise this at the time but I believe this to be the reason I used to attracted to those girls in need.

That was until a reader of this site [Lebron Hater - KS ;) ] recommended this book as being hilarious. Now, i'm very open to suggestions but i'm also very cynical so I didn't expect much.

Wow. I now go out with a friend of mine ruthlessly mirroring this man and Tucker Max has become a verb to us meaning 'to be ruthless'.

I had heard all that nice guys finish last stuff and always thought i'd rather have my dignity. Well I changed my mind. And the shoes fit...for now.

It works. Women seem to respond to being treated badly. And the formula works in such a way that the kind of women affected by these actions deserve it. It also works as a protectionist tool for me personally, I know that any girl that manages to infiltrate the asshole barrier really cares about me and is really worth it.

Male chauvinism comes easier that you think. I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. Two weeks into this epiphany and i've already mastered the art.

What do you think?

:)

TO

Start Of A Long Journey

My first ever official article was published today!

I wrote a piece on the 2009 Season Preview for the Atlanta Falcons, my American Football team of choice.

http://mvn.com/outsider/2009/07/nfl-outsider-season-preview-2009-atlanta-falcons-1.html

Let me know what you think.

:D

TO

Film Review: Year One

It was quite a surreal experience in itself going to the cinema at 4pm on a tuesday afternoon, but it got even weirder when we arrived and there were 6 people in the whole screening. Of these people, 2 were creepy old men that chose to sit directly behind me despite there being at least 100 empty seats.

Never the less i concentrated on the task in hand, Year One. I needn't have bothered. The filmed required less concentration that it took to aim my pee afterward.

This childish 'pee' joke mirrors nearly all of the biblical comedy within the film itself. Fart, excretion and urination jokes galore with only small amounts of Cera's improvised comedy providing the laughs. Ironically, the latter was funniest.

The film is by no means unwatchable and there are a few moments that should make one chuckle, but the standards expected from the stars on the screen and staff behind the camera will only lead to disappointment. It feels more like a collection of short skits rather than a flowing movie and one is often left feeling like they have missed out a scene or two (maybe the fault of post production editing?).

I'd give this film a paltry 5.9 out of 10. Above average (5) but not really worth paying to see.

Human Nature

The Greater Manchester 192 bus route from Piccadilly to Hazel Grove (where I happen to need to get too) is infamous around the country and even has its own wikipedia page (now that's impressive).

Unfortunately, this fame is completely negative and the amount of incidents on this route makes you wonder why there aren't sociologists on every trip studying human behaviour, it makes excellent viewing for students of human interaction like myself.

The bus route is mentioned in many books highlighting the fissures of 'Broken Britain', and is the first thing many people mention when talking about my home town of Stockport. To quote that very wikipedia page:

"According to the Stagecoach Group, the route is the busiest in Britain, with around 9 million passengers carried annually,^[11] and GMPTE has designated the A6 as a quality bus corridor.^[12] The 192 is also noted by Stagecoach as being a problematic bus route with regards to anti-social behaviour, and CCTV cameras were installed on them.^[13]"

I have heard many stories including a 'person' (use the term lightly) attacking the bus driver while the bus was in motion at 6am, forcing the bus to crash into two shops on a high street.

However, I witnessed first hand the wrath of the 192 tonight. Ironically, a friend and I decided to go home early and get some grub on the way home and take it easy. Unfortunately, we never accounted for the turbulence that is the 192 at night.

One a quiet Tuesday night the last thing you would expect is a fight between young men trying to prove who is more unintelligent; the man fighting a group by himself and repeatedly returning for more despite being annihilated over and over, or the group of 'chavs' inflicting the punishment who were in custody of a baby child. At one point the mother of the baby ran to a friend and protested excitedly, "I JUST GOT HIT IN THE FACE HAHA, IM GOING BACK!!!".

I know what your thinking...nope the 1 braincell group managed to beat the 5 braincell guy. Although to be fair, the group probably had 6 braincells between them. Darwinism at its finest.

What was amazing is that from it all came a strengthening of the rest of the passengers. What had been a uninteresting journey for most became a source of discussion. Some members of the bus (older generations) used it as a example of why the country has "gone to pot" and I did hear "young ruffians" occasionally. Some used it to analyse lower class behavioural patterns ('toffs' from Marple). And then some saw the funny side and made jokes about a slightly surreal situation and the fact they now were delayed too much to get food from anywhere (us).

I'm hungry.

:(

TO