What Women Want?

This question has been pondered by some of the greatest thinkers of our time. Aristotle, Plato & Ron Burgundy have all been known to spend vast amounts of time trying to unlock the female psyche with such thoughts as:

Ron Burgundy: Everyone just relax, all right? Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women.

Brian Fantana: I don't know, Ron.

Ron Burgundy: Guess what, I do. I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited.

As you can see this is no easy feat...confusion ensues...what do i wear? what do i say? should i be drunk and easy going? or will that lead to me saying the wrong thing or vomiting on her shoes?

For female readers here is an insight into a typical male conversation:



As you can see there isn't any enlightenment there. However if you go straight to the horses mouth (so to speak), Women themselves can't answer this question. As said in the great film 'Hitch'; "Women get in their own way of happyness".

In conclusion, there is no answer. Not even women themselves know what they want, therefore, this is an impossible notion to expect a man to understand or even guess what women want. The only thing i can think that comes close to answering this question is: Not me!

TO