Unwritten Rule of Life #8:

"nice guys genuinely DO always finish last"

TO

Unwritten Rule of Life #7:

"Leopards do NOT change their spots...they simply blend in and hide...exactly what nature intended for them"

TO

Unwritten Rule of Life #6:

"saying 'Your Mum' wins ANY argument...EXCEPT...if shes dead...then, well...you're a c*nt"

Unwritten Rule of Life #5:

"fantasy is ALWAYS better than reality, keep it in your head and enjoy the simple things you've got"

TO

Unwritten Rule of Life #4:

"sit back, relax and enjoy......Theres still time for a coke and popcorn"

TO

Unwritten Rule of Life #3:

"99 out of 100 women are clinically insane, so when you find that 1, appreciate her. However be aware the odds dictate most of her friends will be absolutely f*cking crazy"

TO

Unwritten Rule of Life #2:

"Anyone that calls THEMSELVES a legend is automatically NOT a legend, and remains NOT a legend for all time"

TO

Unwritten Rule of Life #1:

"Never spend too much time with your girlfriends male friends, its not natural and looks like you can't find your own"

TO