2009

I havent written anything in a long while. Its amazing how ones life can suddenly pick up pace without any noticeable warning. I have been working really hard at university to try and get a degree of some quality, but when i think back, thats a lie. I haven't worked really hard, but it feels like it. God knows how those other 'good' students manage it.

Anyway, enough excuses. Basically, I was contemplating deleting the blog. I can't see the point in having this taking up web space when nobody really looks or updates it. However, the proactive side of me (the one with a halo and wings) decided to just post and put the feeling to delete off a little longer.

So here I am. Looking back through the posts its quite humbling. Seeing, the promises my friends and I made to each other at the start of the year, to make this about 'the boys'. Seeing that fail. Seeing myself post a list of my perfect woman, thinking it would never be met. Seeing that succeed. Seeing me post new opportunities for writing, then seeing myself quit them.

I realised that this blog serves a massively important purpose. I know ultimately no one reads it, but its a record, its something to remind me where I have been and to write where I am going.

I cant believe this years nearly over, its been one of the best years of my life. The first half had some of the funniest moments I can recall, which has been complicated into a video already - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qH6mbWwyMxI - (shameless plug). The second half, has cemented some friendships further, lost many more, found an amazing person, lost many insignificant.

Two contrasting half's of a year, that has been both juxtaposed and intense but thoroughly enjoyable throughout. I've partied hard, relaxed harder. Worked a lot, slept a lot more. Been to Rome. Seen the birth of two beautiful babies. Seen an idol perform. Seen another NFL game. Watched my favourite comedian live. Played the best football of my life. Found the love of my life *cough, Adam, cough*, and this girl called L. (hehe :P)

So, heres to 2010, which I've heard is Gina Harrison's and Atem Eyong aka Jay Breezy's year. So, I've had mine, heres to you guys, i wish you all the best, invite me to the after parties.

2010

TO

Extract of a Kiss

Ryan looked into her dark brown eyes. Like pools of chocolate they drew him closer, begging to be stared at. He looked at Scarlet, her hair cascading down like an avalanche of carnal desire. He knew that she hadn't spent long attending to it, and this only made her more appealing. She seemed to do nothing wrong in Ryan's eyes. He found this strange as he had spent a lifetime dissecting the women that had come into his life, finding faults to devoid his own happiness.
However, this girl was different. He could sense that. She seemed effortless. And made him feel effortless. Like he could truly be himself. But this had the unusual effect of ruining all the 'game' he had. But every time he appeared nervous, she just giggled.
Ryan put his hands tenderly on her shapely hips. He felt her sides. They felt as he imagined them to feel when he first saw her. Toned and defined yet still soft and curvaceous.
"I've waited all night for this embrace." he said as he held onto her protectively. "I wasn't sure of how you felt."
Scarlet looked at him with amusement. She knew from the moment they met she wanted to kiss him, but she couldn't help the gratification that came from seeing a man of such stature helpless for her.
"And what makes you think I feel anything?" she mumbled while desperately trying to disguise her glee. "I mean, are you sure I want to kiss you...?" she continued, worrying he would lose interest.
Ryan smirked, "who said anything about kissing? But good to know whats on your mind!"
Scarlet blushed, knowing the sexy mysterious facade was fading quickly. She had never been very good at flirting, but now more than ever, she wanted to woo this man.
Before she could even consider her next move Ryan used his surreptitious hands to firmly pull her closer. He did with such vigour it shocked her, but with such control his strength calmed her.
Scarlet's soft lips were exactly what Ryan had imagined, and her kiss was ten times better. Pressing firmly at first he gently softened the pressure to make the kiss linger, that way he knew Scarlet would feel butterflies as if kissed by the perfect man. He moved one hand from her waist and caressed her cheek and neck, causing shivers down her spine and goosebumps to form on her arms.
They both knew that this was the kind of kiss that was the beginning of something beautiful and their lives would somehow change.
As he pulled away, Ryan gazed into Scarlet's eyes. They were the most divine he'd ever seen. They were so innocent and inviting, he could stare for hours. As Ryan looked, he realised that he loved this girl. And this terrifying feeling was one of utter delight and sheer worry, combined. This girl had ventured somewhere no one had ever gotten near before. His heart. Scarlet had the power to make or break him, and the very fact she was unaware of this made this burning feeling even more intense.
Ryan took Scarlet by the hand and continued with the evenings festivities. They both felt an spreading warmth inside, a mischievous emotion, guessing that they knew something the other didn't. They however, felt exactly the same. They were falling love.

This is just an attempt by myself at fiction writing.



TO

Can Dreams Come True?

This is something everyone has to ask themselves in life. Everyone has a dream. A goal that appears unreachable, or at least difficult to obtain. In this instance:

1. A wild fancy or hope.
2. A condition or achievement that is longed for; an aspiration: a dream of owning their own business.

The key to this question depends on which number you believe is more accurate. I find personally it hovers between the two depends on my mood at that time. If I am feeling confident and good about everything then my dreams and aspirations appear reachable. When I am not my dreams seem to change to something attainable.

This is another area for consideration. Aspirations can change. Priorities alter as much as daily life. But does the idea of the original dream ever disappear? This is where resentment can harbour if a person feels they could have achieved their dreams but something out of their control stopped this from happening.

This is why as a friend or partner it is your duty to support people in their dreams for as long as you can, even if you feel it is a lost hope. The fact remains that if you were in the way of their dream then they would resent you for it and it wouldn't be worth the pain it would cause.

That being said, you have to hope that the person in question will constantly prioritise their dreams to know exactly when it passes over from achievable to unachievable, if it ever does.

I've heard the saying "dreams are like rainbows, only idiots chase them", however i'm a fan of self-actualization and if you never try you'll never know.

Dreams can come true, but ironically you need the very people that the pursuit of those dreams potentially hurt. It's something that has to be considered and constantly revised but definitely to be undertaken.

Peace

TO

The Rules of The Game

In my current work, I spend vast amounts of time on my own in forced silence. Therefore I tend to over think A LOT. Today I spent a long time thinking about my current relationship, how it affects me and how I affect it, both positively and negatively.

As if by fate, a chapter of the book I have been reading ('The Game' by Neil Strauss) was very appropriate on this very lunchtime. Its only a short chapter, but its extremely enlightening, so I'd like to share. (I've bolded the key bits for me personally for those that don't wish to read the entire passage.)

Male sexuality may seem on the surface like it runs rampant in society - there are strip clubs, porn websites, 'Maxim'-style magazines, and titillating advertisements everywhere. But, despite all this, true male desire is often kept repressed.
Men think about sex more than they will ever let women, or even each other, know. Teachers think about f*cking their students, fathers think about f*cking their daughters friends, doctors think about f*cking their patients. And right now, for every woman with even an iota of sex appeal, there's probably a man somewhere in the world who's touching himself and thinking about what it would be like to f*ck her. She may not even know him: He may be that businessman who walked past her in the street or the college student who sat across from her on the subway. And any man who tells a woman otherwise is most likely doing so because hes trying to get in her pants, or the pants of someone else within earshot. The great lie of modern dating is that in order to sleep with a woman, a man must pretend initially as if he doesn't want to.
Most appalling to women is the male obsession with strippers, porn stars, and teenage girls. It is abhorrent because it threatens a woman's reality. If all men really desire a woman like that, then where does that leave her marriage and happily-ever-after fantasies? She's doomed to live them with a man who really wants that Victoria Secret model or the neighbors daughter or that dominatrix in the videos he hides in his closet. As a woman ages, an 18 year old will always be 18. Love is dashed on the rocks in the face of possibility that a man doesn't want a person but a body.
Fortunately, this is not the entire story. Men are visual thinkers; thus we're often deceived by our eyes. But the truth is that the fantasy is often better than the reality. I had just learned that lesson. Most men eventually learn that lesson...
Men are not dogs. We merely think we are and, on occasion, act as if we are. But, by believing in our nobler nature, woman have amazing power to inspire us to live up to it. This is one reason why men tend to fear commitment-and sometimes...even tend to rebel against it by endeavoring to bring out the worst in woman.

This really is an excellent read with a lot of depth. Highly Recommended.

:)

TO

Best I Ever Had (I love...)

• I love...the way your hair looks a mess but amazing at the same time.
• I love...your body.
• I love...your personality more.
• I love...that feeling I get every time I see you for the first time that day.
• I love...the way you don't care what people think.
• I love...your silly faces.
• I love...how wide your eyes are.
  
• I love...the fact we seem to say and think the same things at the exact same time.
• I love...the fact your the best Ive ever had...literally.
• I love...there's no drama unless its necessary.
• I love...you don't judge.
• I love...you went underneath to find out the real tom.
• I love...that you make me a better person.
  
• I love...the way you make me feel so good about myself.
• I love...the fact you can make me like something i used to despise like Harry Potter/Twilight/Musicals.
• I love...the fact you always play devils advocate and make me think.
• I love...the fact YOUR DOG WANTS TO EAT ME.
• I love...certain songs seem to make sense just because of you.
• I love...the fact you don't eat anything but Nandos, toast and MacDonalds.
• I love...you can sit in my house while I go to football training and be there waiting with a smile when I come back dirty and tired.
• I love...how it feels to fall asleep with you in my arms.
• I love...how it feels Ive known you all my life.
• I love...that you can change my mood instantly.
• I love...how you bite your tongue every time you get in my car and hear Hip-Hop.
• I love...how your proud to be with me.
• I love...you get goosebumps virtually every time I kiss you.
• I love...that you don't mind sharing me with Ryan Reynolds.
• I love...how you make me feel 13 again.
  
• I love...you.

Smile, enjoy us and the rest will follow.

<3

TO