Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts

Monday, 24 August 2009

The Rules of The Game

In my current work, I spend vast amounts of time on my own in forced silence. Therefore I tend to over think A LOT. Today I spent a long time thinking about my current relationship, how it affects me and how I affect it, both positively and negatively.

As if by fate, a chapter of the book I have been reading ('The Game' by Neil Strauss) was very appropriate on this very lunchtime. Its only a short chapter, but its extremely enlightening, so I'd like to share. (I've bolded the key bits for me personally for those that don't wish to read the entire passage.)

Male sexuality may seem on the surface like it runs rampant in society - there are strip clubs, porn websites, 'Maxim'-style magazines, and titillating advertisements everywhere. But, despite all this, true male desire is often kept repressed.
Men think about sex more than they will ever let women, or even each other, know. Teachers think about f*cking their students, fathers think about f*cking their daughters friends, doctors think about f*cking their patients. And right now, for every woman with even an iota of sex appeal, there's probably a man somewhere in the world who's touching himself and thinking about what it would be like to f*ck her. She may not even know him: He may be that businessman who walked past her in the street or the college student who sat across from her on the subway. And any man who tells a woman otherwise is most likely doing so because hes trying to get in her pants, or the pants of someone else within earshot. The great lie of modern dating is that in order to sleep with a woman, a man must pretend initially as if he doesn't want to.
Most appalling to women is the male obsession with strippers, porn stars, and teenage girls. It is abhorrent because it threatens a woman's reality. If all men really desire a woman like that, then where does that leave her marriage and happily-ever-after fantasies? She's doomed to live them with a man who really wants that Victoria Secret model or the neighbors daughter or that dominatrix in the videos he hides in his closet. As a woman ages, an 18 year old will always be 18. Love is dashed on the rocks in the face of possibility that a man doesn't want a person but a body.
Fortunately, this is not the entire story. Men are visual thinkers; thus we're often deceived by our eyes. But the truth is that the fantasy is often better than the reality. I had just learned that lesson. Most men eventually learn that lesson...
Men are not dogs. We merely think we are and, on occasion, act as if we are. But, by believing in our nobler nature, woman have amazing power to inspire us to live up to it. This is one reason why men tend to fear commitment-and sometimes...even tend to rebel against it by endeavoring to bring out the worst in woman.


This really is an excellent read with a lot of depth. Highly Recommended.

:)

TO

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

The Life and Times of TO

This post has no particular direction or message other than to update you all on the fact i'm rather happy.

I'm currently riding one of those waves where everything is going right. I'm working hard and being rewarded and it feels exceptional.

  • I have finally found a paying job, unlike freelancing writing it seems. So i'm paying bills.
  • I have found the woman of my dreams and couldn't be happier right now.
  • I have a lot of things to look forward too; New football season, New American football season, Michael McIntyre gig, Lil' Wayne gig, NFL game in London, MY 21st BIRTHDAY, the tattoo i'm getting. The list is endless.
  • I have been chosen to write for my universities blog about careers and my path trying to find one in final year, which not only helps my writing career but also makes me get off my **** and go do it.
  • I'm seeing who are good friends and getting quite tight with people who if you'd have asked me 4 years ago I probably would have said "yeah right" (check his blog - http://theatembomb.blogspot.com/)
  • I have entered a competition to be a part of The Scripts new video for 'Breakeven' - please comment and vote generously - http://www.youtube.com/user/towen88
I just feel like i'm growing up and finally using some of my limitless potential to make waves in this world and be somebody. Its not my time yet, but my time is coming, soon I'll give you all a reward for believing in me.



:D

TO

Saturday, 8 August 2009

Mates Rates

So tonight was the big night, the evening when friendship was reevaluated. Ironically, it made me appreciate my own relationship more as well as reminding how important my close mates are too.

I think most of the guys realised that we are drifting apart and that more will be done to keep us connected in some way.

At the same time I realised how good my relationship is based on the grievances of others and how having a girlfriend who is just like a best friend can really be the difference between it working and it not.

I honestly don't think i've been this happy in all my life, and while my brain has been taught this means i'm heading for a fall I don't think I actually care. You have to take the good times while they roll; and i'm rolling.

Tonight was a funny experience with our dinner starting at 7 and then doing 50 shots in Baa Bar by 9.15pm, meaning we were all gone (in the drunk sense of the word) by 10pm.

Hence the only video in which PJ makes a bet he can't keep to:



:)

TO

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

Best I Ever Had (I love...)



  • I love...the way your hair looks a mess but amazing at the same time.
  • I love...your body.
  • I love...your personality more.
  • I love...that feeling I get every time I see you for the first time that day.
  • I love...the way you don't care what people think.
  • I love...your silly faces.
  • I love...how wide your eyes are.
  • I love...the fact we seem to say and think the same things at the exact same time.
  • I love...the fact your the best Ive ever had...literally.
  • I love...there's no drama unless its necessary.
  • I love...you don't judge.
  • I love...you went underneath to find out the real tom.
  • I love...that you make me a better person.
  • I love...the way you make me feel so good about myself.
  • I love...the fact you can make me like something i used to despise like Harry Potter/Twilight/Musicals.
  • I love...the fact you always play devils advocate and make me think.
  • I love...the fact YOUR DOG WANTS TO EAT ME.
  • I love...certain songs seem to make sense just because of you.
  • I love...the fact you don't eat anything but Nandos, toast and MacDonalds.
  • I love...you can sit in my house while I go to football training and be there waiting with a smile when I come back dirty and tired.
  • I love...how it feels to fall asleep with you in my arms.
  • I love...how it feels Ive known you all my life.
  • I love...that you can change my mood instantly.
  • I love...how you bite your tongue every time you get in my car and hear Hip-Hop.
  • I love...how your proud to be with me.
  • I love...you get goosebumps virtually every time I kiss you.
  • I love...that you don't mind sharing me with Ryan Reynolds.
  • I love...how you make me feel 13 again.
  • I love...you.
Smile, enjoy us and the rest will follow.

<3

TO

Saturday, 11 July 2009

ARAF!

Don't you wish that sometimes you could stop or slow down time and your life...?

I feel like this right now. I have spent the last 6 months of my life creating a brand new life for myself in the image of who I wanted to be. I have loved every second of this and have memories from this period that will last a lifetime.

Put simply, 2009 has been the best year of my life.

Not only have I been living the life of who I believe I truly am for the first time in a long time but recently I have been hit by metaphorical train being driven by a special person. This may seem strange because the very occurrence of the uncontrollable emotion of the latter contradicts the conscious effort of the former.

Then again I do lead a very contradictory life.

Im a very impatient person, yet I wish for nothing more than to stop time right now. I want to enjoy every second of the happiness I have been feeling for the last 6 months but also because that proverbial 'driver' will become quite unavailable soon.

This is crazy. Me, getting bent out of shape over someone. Me, having nothing to complain about. Me, wanting life to slow down.

I'm usually easy going. I'm usually moaning about someone. I'm usually living my life at 100mph. I guess this is why I feel so affected by this person. I think they just understand what makes me tick. They get me. They are the same. I think. But I usually don't go on thoughts, i like facts, so again contradictory to my personality.

I am struggling to even think of how to summarise, or even why i'm writing this. I guess I will just say. Be happy, you never know what or who is around the next corner and to enjoy every second of this life, ups and downs included.

:D

TO

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

I Hope There Is Room In Hell...

Isn't it funny how one thing, be it a book or a film etc, can change your view on life so rapidly. For many years I have always tried to be the nice guy when it came to women. I was always the one to answer my phone to a distress signal, to be considerate and kind.

I 'blame' this on my mother. Or you could say my father. Either way, while I was growing up my mother would do everything for me and my brother while working everyday, with no help for many years. I didn't realise this at the time but I believe this to be the reason I used to attracted to those girls in need.

That was until a reader of this site [Lebron Hater - KS ;) ] recommended this book as being hilarious. Now, i'm very open to suggestions but i'm also very cynical so I didn't expect much.

Wow. I now go out with a friend of mine ruthlessly mirroring this man and Tucker Max has become a verb to us meaning 'to be ruthless'.

I had heard all that nice guys finish last stuff and always thought i'd rather have my dignity. Well I changed my mind. And the shoes fit...for now.

It works. Women seem to respond to being treated badly. And the formula works in such a way that the kind of women affected by these actions deserve it. It also works as a protectionist tool for me personally, I know that any girl that manages to infiltrate the asshole barrier really cares about me and is really worth it.

Male chauvinism comes easier that you think. I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. Two weeks into this epiphany and i've already mastered the art.

What do you think?

:)

TO

Saturday, 27 June 2009

Life Flashes By

The last 6 months of my life have honestly been some of the best.

I want to share a reminiscence with you, in thanks, to anyone that has taken the time to read and even more so comment. Thank You.

That's why i'm even more grateful for this blog; it has served to store all these fantastic memories and I now bring you the half way house film.....

The Last 6 Months In Film:



Enjoy?

:)

TO

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Dreams Come True?


As inspiration strikes, I'll pick up my keyboard and scrawl my tired thoughts across this screen. Last night I had a dream and from what I can remember it was very simple but also monumental.

The Dream
I am older, mid-twenties, I'm at a friends house party and I wonder outside to see a female friend of mine, who I have always had a crush on, sat on the wall outside. What began as a normal scene started changing as a spoke to her. What originated as a night scene became the day with the most beautiful of sunrises behind her head. We spoke and clicked looking directly into each others eyes and everything made sense. Her hair fluttered in front of her brow due to the soft breeze, perfectly contrasting the light coming from behind her face. I stroked the brown hair away from her eyes and whispered, "you are so beautiful". I touched her cheek with my hand and gently pressed my lips against hers and the world stopped spinning.


This is when I woke and my chest ached to be back asleep and again in that moment. For some reason at that very moment I felt I had to tell someone. I texted one my closest friend and shared a laugh at my expense, but that was exactly what I needed. I calmed myself and began thinking logically. I knew exactly who the dream was about, but as I type this I begin to wonder. Am I crazy? Am I trying to persuade myself its wasnt, or am I persuade myself it was.

The questions posed by this dream have dominated my day. Am I happy that what was once a subconscious emotion has finally dawned? Or am I crippled by the fact that I don't think there is anything I can do about it and I can't tell this girl? Its such a beautiful, yet cold feeling.

I've spent months to get to this point of freedom, feeling completely at ease and not needing this kind of emotion and i'm extremely happy. But at the same time I want this moment for real, so badly it actually hurts. But then the very fact I'm saying this is making me question whether I'm insane, if she read this would she be scared? or find it sweet? or even possibly reciprocate?

As you can tell, I went to sleep with no questions and very happy, and I awoke to a million of them and totally confused. Another close friend says it happens all the time, I admire his honesty, but it made me feel like I don't want it to.

Do I want to dream the same again?

?

TO

Saturday, 13 June 2009

The Perfect Woman


My Perfect Woman:

  1. Sometimes wears Caps backwards and likes wearing hats.
  2. Enjoys watching American sports.
  3. Doesn't mind sharing me with my laptop.
  4. HAS NO POINTLESS DRAMA.
  5. Agrees with Ludacris that "Once more we leaves em' dead, we want lady in the street, and a freak in the bed".
  6. Loves sitting in sweat pants, watching films and laughing.
  7. Will take a joke of one of my mates and send it back twice as good.
  8. Enjoys watching me play Football (Soccer).
  9. Will feed my ego but tell me to shut the f**k up when i'm being a d**k.
  10. Loves comedy.
  11. Understands that Hip-Hop isn't just about b*tches and h*es.
  12. Gets ridiculously excited about the smallest of things but...
  13. Doesn't follow the hype with everything unless its truly deserved.
  14. Understands man-crushes aren't homosexual and respects the man-crush.
  15. Doesn't need constant reassurance about her looks and can sit there makeup-less and know i think shes hot.
Does she exist?

?

TO

Monday, 8 June 2009

Film Review: Terminator Salvation


If you couldn't tell, my life has currently been reduced to absolute boredom and trips to the cinema with male friends...not even female friends let alone dates.

Nevertheless, as a film geek I am enjoying myself and this was a film I had been looking forward to for some time. I have to admit i was left slightly disappointed. The films clearly aimed at a much younger audience with very little blood, no swearing and you can't help but feel maybe they were thinking about gaming console sales when discussing plot lines.

That being said, the action is relentless and some of the effects are awesome. The idea could have been expanded but I feel they kept it simple for a younger, Hollywood era audience.

My review would give this film a rating of 6.5/10. Plenty of unfulfilled potential.

Oh and I mentioned I did indeed get very over excited at the Transformers 2 trailer.......again.

:)

TO

Saturday, 6 June 2009

"Pick a word for me to write about..." - "Breasts"

http://www.answers.com/topic/breast
Breasts - n.
    1. Either of two milk-secreting, glandular organs on the chest of a woman; the human mammary gland.
    2. A corresponding organ in other mammals.
    3. A corresponding rudimentary gland in the male.
    1. The superior ventral surface of the human body, extending from the neck to the abdomen.
    2. A corresponding part in other animals.
  1. The part of a garment that covers the chest.
  2. The seat of affection and emotion: “Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast” (Shakespeare).
  3. A source of nourishment.
  4. Something likened to the human breast: the breast of a hill.
  5. The face of a mine or tunnel.

Where do i begin? Well we all know the primary function of breasts are the nurturing and dispertion of milk via lactation (right!?). The sexual role of breats cannot be understated, (hehe im so pleased the random selector picked this word) the role of breasts in human females lives has vastly evolved and stands much higher than most other animals. The breast demonstrates a visual sign of fertility and maturity which is often competely unconcious, this is usually the scientific explanation of when men say the bigger the better. The Kama Sutra even has the marking and indentation of the bussom with nails as erotic (Glad i've never bothered with that stupid pointless book....).

Feminists have argued that examples of breast fetishism have been found going back to the neolithic era, with the shrines in ancient Turkey. Archaeological excavations have revealed that the walls of the shrine(s) were adorned with disembodied pairs of breasts that appeared to have "an existence of their own". It has been argued that the breasts were revered by the women as instruments of motherhood.

The reverence shown to breasts also appears in the science of today's modern civilization. Breast fetishism is claimed to be an example of a contagious thought/expression (or meme - very interesting topic i will be discussing in the future) that quickly spreads throughout society, and that breasts are mainly bio-semiotic features (study of visual signs in biology) that have evolved to influence human sexuality rather than serve an exclusive maternal function.
Legally, many Western legal systems believe the public display of women's breasts to be indecent exposure (Boo!). However, there are activist
groups such as the Topfreedom movement who have been successful in persuading courts to overturn such laws (Yay!) on the basis of sex, arguing that a woman should be free to expose her chest in any context in which a man can expose his (i hear people across the nation saying "True Dat!").

Topless sunbathing has also become a mainstream accepted activity, adding weight to the claims that women should have the right to choose themselves whether they wish to be topless (Amen Brother!).

Breasts shoud be celebrated, no matter size or shape...so join me in raising a glass to toast the beautiful breasts in the world, we all love a good "face of a mine or a tunnel"!!!

Wow should get some extra hits from people 'accidently' finding this post on Google search...i only hope they stay and enjoy the read

:)

TO

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Dating+TO=Stress


What is the most stressful experience in life?

Some suggest moving house, some say a first pregnancy and others propagate that the first day of a new job is height of the adrenaline production process named stress.

I have discovered recently that I am a lot more laissez-faire that I first realised. I have learned to let things go, and move on. Nevertheless, there are 3 occasions that still managed to get me out of my comfort zone. The first being any occasion I talk to a family member. I don't know what it is but im programmed to get extremely irate and very quickly when forced to converse with any family member. This happens so often its not worth considersation. The second occasion is shopping, especially supermarkets (i have already written about this - http://toheadspace.blogspot.com/2009/03/supermarket-sweep.html). This leads me to discuss my final Kryptonite...Dating.

Having been in two long term relationships my experience of dating isn't as vast as some, however it is enough to know that its not as fun as should be. To me, dating appears to be an endless list of questions until you feel comfortable enough to not care for the answer. Heres a sample:

  • Where should I take her?
  • What should I wear?
  • What do I say?
  • How can I impress?
  • What if I don't like her and she likes me?
  • What if i get aroused?
Okay so the last one is silly (we all know what should happen) but the rest are valid and only seem to bare more and more questions until one ends up questioning the fact one is questioning. As highlighted in previous posts, Women don't make it easy. They don't even hint towards answering any of these questions swirling around the brain. In fact, I think some sadist part of the female psyche really enjoys seeing men squirm. Actually, make that i'm certain they enjoy it.

I guess this is why men seem to prosper more when they seem to not care about the outcome at all. Is this the key? Is the "treat em' mean keep em' keen" addage true? Who knows. I do know that it can't be faked. Those that find themselves in the situation above could never put themselves in a situation where the outcome didnt concern them.

So there's no cure for me. No easy road. I'm going to have to worrying myself until i worry about worrying. Just need to find a date now...wow...thats another story for another day.

TO

Friday, 3 April 2009

What Women Want?

This question has been pondered by some of the greatest thinkers of our time. Aristotle, Plato & Ron Burgundy have all been known to spend vast amounts of time trying to unlock the female psyche with such thoughts as:

Ron Burgundy: Everyone just relax, all right? Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women.

Brian Fantana: I don't know, Ron.

Ron Burgundy: Guess what, I do. I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited.

As you can see this is no easy feat...confusion ensues...what do i wear? what do i say? should i be drunk and easy going? or will that lead to me saying the wrong thing or vomiting on her shoes?

For female readers here is an insight into a typical male conversation:



As you can see there isn't any enlightenment there. However if you go straight to the horses mouth (so to speak), Women themselves can't answer this question. As said in the great film 'Hitch'; "Women get in their own way of happyness".

In conclusion, there is no answer. Not even women themselves know what they want, therefore, this is an impossible notion to expect a man to understand or even guess what women want. The only thing i can think that comes close to answering this question is: Not me!

TO