Nothing is Predestined

Today, In football training, I attempted a very audacious shot and failed miserably. But I felt no shame. As I turned to meet the mocking cheers, I said to my friend Atem (http://theatembomb.blogspot.com) "If you don't attempt greatness, you won't achieve greatness".

At the time it was just a decorated way of saying "it was worth a go". However, when I got home and started to day dream the words seemed to resonate (so much so i'm thinking of getting it in welsh as my 21st tattoo).

As with a lot of people I know, I talk a very good game.

This is necessary but not sufficient. You have to deliver. The words resonate that anyone can talk about greatness but it's all about the 'attempt'. For many years i've said it's not my time, i'm waiting for the next stage of my life...well it's coming.

I've always viewed from the end of university to my 30th birthday to be when I have to make things happen, and i will. To ensure this happens I decided to sit down today and publish my short, medium and long term goals. After all there's no motivation like potential public humiliation.

Short (<1year)

• Score 3 goals and win 3 M.O.M's for D&C AFC this year.
• Earn a 2:1 Economics degree.
• Have my second published article.
• Earn a place on a graduate scheme.

Medium (1year-5years)

• Watch the Atlanta Falcons play in person.
• Watch LeBron James play in person.
• Watch Usain Bolt sprint in person.
• Have an article published in a National Newspaper or article.
• Buy my first property.

Long (5years+)

• Earn my first $1,000,000 paycheck.
• Write a novel.
• Appear in a film.
• Own a majority share in mutli-million dollar company

Many of you may think these are unreachable, but I would say to you "don't hate, dont underestimate".

:$

TO

The Age of Discontent

Serious post alert.

If you came to see a video of self induced vomiting or Adam talking about his Man crush, go to just about any other post. This is a somber one.

Money keeps us up at night, unless you have plenty then it keeps you up because your probably spending it. Last night i couldn't sleep worrying about my overdraft.

There are no jobs in this barren wasteland of an economy, i even got turned down by a terrible workplace I don't wish to name...pre-interview. Yes, the economy is so bad that we now don't bother seeing a potential employee face to face anymore. I have been offered every job i've ever been interviewed for, as you can tell i'm proud of this. But how is a guy who is all about face-to-face interaction supposed to get a job in a labour market that won't even waste interviews on any sorry soul?

This only seems to mirror the sad, lonely feeling currently pulsing through my body as I have no job, no University (till September for my final year) and no money to do anything but write. I guess it could be a blessing in disguise, or it could be your worst nightmare. I think it may be time to either start writing my book, or turn to Buddhism...or both.

The past few days I have spent more time with my family than ever and it has made me realise that this is a good path to follow. I have never had a stable family until now and so its all new to me. Until now, I have never had little toddlers and babies around and it's freshing to see such innocence that remains unaffected by the harsh realities of the outside world.

It comes down to this. I feel old. I know im not, but i feel it. I'm going to be 21 in a matter of months and already young scamps are questioning my presense in nightclubs! I don't look old, quite contrare, i occasionally get ID'd. However, i'm past the point of carelessness. Even though i pretend, i'm further past that point than i'm comfortable with. I'm a no worries kind of guy, but they are creeping into my life and i just don't like it.

If i start acting strange and doing things that don't make sense, take a second and remember this, I will probably be trying to recapture my youth at the tender age of 21...

:(

TO

Thoughts Of Age

So here is the next installment. I'm traveling on a train to London and boredom has meant i will finally use my phones Microsoft capabilities (surely leading to some finger cramp/future ailment!). To be honest this is mainly a test of how much i can be bothered to write purely on my phone, however some good may come of the thoughts that are floating in my head at the moment (although i think i value my own thoughts more than anyone else ever will).

I've already discussed my views on the purpose of life and religion. Next i think will be growing old, especially with my 19th birthday in the next couple of days. I never really was that bothered about birthdays, yes its nice to know people care and its an excuse to celebrate but to be honest i feel a falseness and unease at the attention of celebrating my own birthday. Pretending you really want those socks has become an Oscar worthy performance for me. Not wanting to cash old relatives (the ones left) cheques partly because of guilt and partly because you don't see it a worthy trip to the bank for £2.50. I don't mean to sound ungrateful but inflation is a terrible thing. In actually reality i feel like this for most commercial celebrations (Christmas, fathers & mothers days). Maybe im just a grumpy old man before my time, maybe i'm just a cynic realist who sees little value in traditional anythings. I'm a minimalist, laminate, chrome and glass kind of guy i'm afraid.

It seems that all children are in a hurry to grow up, i know i was. I used to watch my brother doing coursework wishing as hard as i could i would be given the chance to do something that official at some point. Yet when given the chance i want nothing more than to avoid it! Wishing you life away is a common trait among youth, and as is wishing your life back when you reach a certain age. The consensus of people i have spoke to say that high school were the best days of life. As i went to a high school made up of 90% cretins (correct at the time - some have matured) then i don't quite agree but i can see the points. Lack of commitments and no real life changing decisions but with an increased level of freedom, sounds like heaven right now.

i do often feel like i'm old before my time. I do find i get along best with similar souls (Gareth) while we talk the day away saying how things have changed. Getting old is an inevitability, this is why i struggle to see why there is such an importance placed on birthdays. Its such a cliche but its one day a year, just like the rest, if it were that we celebrated one birthday a life, say 18, then i wouldn't be so begrudging but every year....... No not for me. My main complaint is the same as a lot of other areas of my beliefs. I always say when i don't believe in something "not for me", now i could spend my time converting people to my cynical but realist way of thinking (which i have done) but i don't. I accept others views, but it grates me when others don't accept mine. Like i'm abnormal for this view, and that because its their birthday i somehow owe them something...? You have to do this/that because its my birthday, in reality this will make me do the opposite.

Getting old is the only guaranteed thing in life besides taxes, we should in fact build structure of this stability not be scared of it. Age is after all just a number.......